Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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