Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize