i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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