I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
