omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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