how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
