Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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