absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
