just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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