I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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