i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I touched a dick in church today
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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