me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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