just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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