So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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