I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
