No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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