theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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