Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
