he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
