Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
