if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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