I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
