you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i think i have two assholes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize