i just had sex bonerless
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
