At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
