Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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