I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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