Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
