ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
and she was petting her beer can
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
