dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You made out with two different species that night
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
