Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
