Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize