Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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