did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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