she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You pole danced in your parka.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
