Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
