I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Who died my cat blue again?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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