It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We are two peas in an std pod
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
