i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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