His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
