We tried having a conversation with our noses.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
