He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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