We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
