But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
