actually, I'm a sock model
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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