Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm bleeding and have questions
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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