Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
