"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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