Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
