no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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