just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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