You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
