More tranny stories later!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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