doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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