I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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