Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
