i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
