they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize