I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
