Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
