when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
