Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
