Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
